Art

 [The Publicity Agent is gazing out his window in the direction of the School of Health and Environment. By coincidence there are several attractive girls on the steps of the building enjoying the last days of our Indian summer. The Capt'n enters un-noticed.]

Capt'n
Nice view.

Publicity Agent [caught by surprise]
I was just .. I was just looking for Muse.

Capt'n
Muse? Which one's she?

Publicity Agent
The Goddess of Art and Music. She provides inspiration for creative people.

Capt'n [astounded]
Here?

Publicity Agent [in dramatic style]
It is said my recent work lacks inspiration. It's true, but from whence the inspiration? Where are today's faculty plans, the mission statements, the new names, the burning issues. I need social activity; it is the very breath of creativity. What is Art, if not a reflection of Life?

[Strikes dramatic pose, bumps computer mouse, ART RULES, OK? screen-saver switches to browser - naked woman is displayed. ]

Capt'n
What's this? Art?

Publicity Agent
Yes. It's Botticelli's Venus.

Capt'n
Why's she dancing on a table top?

Publicity Agent
It's a preliminary sketch, he didn't have a shell to hand.
(view authentic Botticelli, ed.)

Capt'n [to himself]
I'm sure that's a stubbie ....

[In the meanwhile the Publicity Agent is checking over his email.]

Publicity Agent
There might be something here. Have a look at this!
Here's one with the subject.
Have a Look at this!!!
Oh, it's only about the second semester timetable, not much scope there.

Capt'n [looking over the Publicity Agent's shoulder]
There's a go. "Stylish La Trobe jacket". You're always on about style, borrow some of this style.

Publicity Agent
Be the envy of all your friends in this stylish double-breasted jacket. Complete with conversation-starting La Trobe University logo, this pre-loved jacket can be yours for the amazing low cost of just ONE hundred dollars

Capt'n
Perhaps it would be better to run with the timetable. Hang on. What's this?

From; Mxxxxx Bxxxx
Subject; Chris Xxxxxx
Dear All,
Tom & I visited Chris yesterday. His bike-speedo revealed he was going downhill at appr 55k/h (on a bush-track); that explains all the damage. After more than a week in hospital he came home Easter-Monday and appeared remarkably well and with his old-chirpyness. Will start physio this week and may be back at uni 30th. He can access his eMail from home.

Cheers
Mxxxxxxx.

Yeah, it will be good to see him back at the Bar.

Publicity Agent [excited]
That's it! That's it! Performance Art! He could start at the top of the stair-well in Applied Science Two, spiral down, he could easly be pushing fifty-five kips when he reaches the basement! Burst into the Campbell Bar and ....
[notices look of absolule disbelief on face of the Capt'n, deflates]
You don't think so Capt'n?

Capt'n
I think something more sedate. Can you do some poetry?

Publicity Agent
To struggle with the beats of time
to conquer and control rebellious rhyme
and drive with illustrations poetical
fast spinning illusions metaphysical

[pauses, awaiting comment]

Capt'n [ the effect has passed him by]
You're right, I don't know how you'd go, finding rhymes and that sort of stuff. You could do modern stuff, forget the rhymes.

Publicity Agent
eagle of darkness
ringed with suits of sun struck yellow fruit
you fly north
to bloody the breast of a radial sun
born not in dark stannic hills
but in the mother moulds of Earth yielding her
rings of conventional union

Capt'n
It's far too transparent, we'd be picked up for sure if we ran that. Look, do you have Times Roman font there?
[Publicity Agent nods]
Good, then type this.

Campbell Bar, Applied Science II Basement 5:00 Friday.

about this site . . . . Site Contents