Heart of Gold Fiesta
Thursday afternoon. It is the Campbell Bar in its guise as the Applied Science tea-room. The Publicity Agent is sitting at the table reading the "heart of gold fiesta" brochure and drinking coffee. There is about a mouthful remaining in his cup. The Capt'n enters loaded with cartoons of beer, wine, biscuits, cheese, olives and kabana sausage. He struggles to get his keys out to open the door of the bar.
Publicity Agent
Hang on, I'll just finish my coffee and I'll give you a hand.
Capt'n who has just managed to lift his keys out of his pocket with his teeth
Ummph.
the Capt'n opens the door of Bar displaying manipulation skills that would make Houdini look like a drunken sailor - he unloads the cartoons of beer, wine, biscuits, cheese, olives and kabana sausage - as the fridge door finally closes the Publicity Agent finishes his coffee at a gulp
Publicity Agent
Anything I can give you a hand with Capt'n?
Capt'n
Yes useless, check the board and see who won the sweep.
Publicity Agent
Hey, last week when I left the Bar I bumped into Arthur. I asked him about the horse I got in the sweep.
the publicity agent's face slides out of focus and the blur sharpens into focus as Arthur's face, as this happens we hear going back in time music - we are to understand that this is a flash back - zoom out to Publicity Agent talking to Arthur who is leaning on his mop in an attentive stance
Publicity Agent
I got Trounced in the sweep. What ya reckon, Arthur?
Arthur looking up from his form guide
You got trounced, all right. He's worth about $67.
Publicity Agent a little let down
He'd pay $67 for a win?
Arthur
No, mate, I meant you'd get about $67 if you auctioned him. Provided he'd been fed for the day, else you'd have to knock a couple of bucks off for feed.
reverse of earlier effects to indicate that we are back in present time
Publicity Agent
And Arthur was right, it came in second last.
in the meanwhile the Capt'n has read the board himself
Capt'n
Ah! that's good, we'll see if they turn up for their prizes.
Publicity Agent waves gold fiesta brochure
Hey Capt'n, this is interesting. Jacques is on the front page of this Gold Fiesta Promotion, he's doing the soundscapes for the Golden Square Performance.
Capt'n
Speaking of promos ...
Publicity Agent
You know it was me that put the artistic designer, Jude Anderson, in touch with Jacques.
Capt'n resigned
Here we go.
Publicity Agent
Yeah, dinks. You see Jude rang the Uni looking for the electronic music department. She's been overseas and hadn't realized that music departments in Australian universities are against the law.
Capt'n
They're a bit thin on the ground, but there's no law against them.
Publicity Agent
Yes there is, the law of economics. Anyhow, since there is no electronic music department here, the switch put her through to me because I lecture electronics. Well I knew Jacques did this electronic music stuff because I heard him play at the
Bendigo Film Society.
Capt'n
Okay, okay. Very interesting, and now you've got your plug in for the Film Society, how about our promo?
Publicity Agent
You know there's other Campbell Bar people in this brochure.
Capt'n
The promo.
Publicity Agent
The Emu Creek Bush Band playing, so Peter Ellis will be there. And the Central Victorian Women's Choir, so Alison will be there too.
Capt'n
Alison?
Publicity Agent
You know Alison, the girl with the rats.
Capt'n
Rats? She's got a drinking problem?
Publicity Agent
No she doesn't drink enough to keep a mouse alive. She keeps pet rats.
Capt'n
People keep all sorts of things; blokes keep women; women keep blokes. There's no accounting for it. Now about our promo.
Publicity Agent
Say! We could get the Advertiser to do a feature. (waves hands indicating newspaper about two metres wide) "Campbell Bar Trio at Heart of Gold Fiesta!" Photos, a chatty interview, all that sort of stuff.
Capt'n
Listen, we are not going global, our Clientele is Select and Regionally Centred.
Publicity Agent indicates brochure
We should have had our logo on the front page with the others ...
Capt'n
We don't have a logo.
Publicity Agent turns paper over
Look here on the back, even the Rifle Brigade has an add, why not us? I think ours should have been next to the Bendigo Art Gallery add, that's where the class is.
Capt'n
Take a grip of yourself, Singleton. It's not our scene.
Publicity Agent
We could make something for TV, Alison could train her rats to sing. They could harmonize. Can't you see them? Arms around each others shoulders wearing little tee shirts with "Campbell Bar" across the front. A real Campbell Bar Quartet. Jacques could compose the music, Peter could play it. (Jude will be impressed.) We'll set the cameras up in the Campbell Bar Annex and panel the North wall with mirrors and use reflection shots with a star flash filter, overlay shots of BMWs, Champagne glasses and hotair balloons. ... .
in the meanwhile the Capt'n has pencilled something on a scrap of paper and pinned it to the door. It reads:
Campbell Bar, via Baker Street, Applied Science 2, Friday 5:00
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