A Pair of Glasses.
Campbell Bar, about 5:30 one Friday.
Client A
Did you see that trick bike they had in the student union? You got fifty bucks if you could ride it. No one could.
Client B
Yeah, with gears on the steering so if you turn the handlebars one way the front wheel turns the other. Of course I've known about them since I was a kid.
Client A
Of course you have. Where did you see one?
Client B
Well... I hadn't actually seen one before. My dad told me about them. They used to kick about at fairs during the depression. You'd pay a bob a ride, with the chance of picking up a fiver. A mate of dad's, Mcdougal, had some fun with one.
Client A
He used to hawk it round the fairs?
Client B
No, he got bitten by a bloke who did. Lost a quid on it. Twenty trys at a bob a try. But he got smart. The fair was coming back round in a couple of months. Mcdougal knocked up his own trick bike using the gears off a mangle. Practised on it day after day, until he could really ride. Mind you he couldn't ride a normal bike any longer.
Client A
I heard of a bloke who made upside-down glasses. When up looked through them everything appeared upside-down. Eventually after wearing them for months he could do everything normally. It proved something or other. After a few more months he took them off. It was too much for his head to sort it out again and he went bonkers.
Client B
I guess the moral of that story is, beware of people who don't wear glasses. Anyhow the fair comes round again and Mcdougal puts down his money, rides the bike and picks up the fiver. He then puts down another shilling for another ride, but the cove with the bike won't wear it. Mcdougal argues that he had twenty trys last time, "why not this time, mon? The crowd are on Mcdougal's side. He'd top scored for the local cricket team or some such. Besides half of them had lost money to the cove and figured if Mcdougal won some back he might stand drinks.
Client A
Stand drinks.
Client B
To cut it short, the bike cove sees that things are warming up, pulls up his pegs and clears out.
Client A
Did Mcdougal buy drinks?
Client B
Na.
Client A
So he was almost a fiver ahead for the day.
Client B
Not really. He had walked in to the fair so no one would spot his trick bike. He thought he'd ride his kid's bike home. But he couldn't ride a normal bike anymore, fell off and broke his glasses. Cost him a fiver to get them fixed.
Client A
Broke both lenses in his glasses?
Client B
I guess so.
Client A
So in a sense, his glasses were empty.
Client B
Eh?
Client A
Just like ours.
Client B
Oh, I see, it's my shout.
Tell tales at the
Campbell Bar, via Baker St, Applied Science 2, Friday 5:00
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