The Sign of Baker Street.
It is the East end of Bakers Street Applied Science 2. Two people are examining the sign "Bakers St.". The taller is wearing a deer stalker hat and long coat with the collar turned up. He is "smoking" an unlit pipe and has just completed examining the sign with a powerful magnifying glass. The other, the shorter man, has the peculiarity of a war injury which at times results in a sore shoulder (see Doyle, A.C., Study in Scarlet - ed) or a weak leg (see Doyle, A.C., The Sign of Four - ed) The shorter man speaks.
Watson
What do you make of it, Holmes?
Holmes
Well Watson, firstly it is clear that the sign was not placed here by Lady Karin. She deplores the conventional dropping of apostrophes in place names. She argues, and I entirely agree with her, that it results in a loss of precision. Is the possessive formed from Baker or Bakers? Is it a possessive at all?
(There is clearly some confusion here, the sign does not read Bakers St but Baker St. - ed)
Watson
But, Holmes, the elimination of just one person as being responsible for posting the sign hardly advances our case. We have so little to go on.
Holmes
On the contrary, Watson, we have a wealth of information. We know that the person we're looking for is male, of average height, generally good humoured, right handed, has worked at this establishment for some years, is systematic and has a home workshop.
Watson
But Holmes ...
Holmes
You see, but you do not observe. Most of the clues lay in the pencilled alignment marks that the sign poster has used to ensure the sign is level. A woman would not have used alignment marks, she would either have not been concerned about the alignment or would have trusted her own judgement. The sign poster was systematic, I observed these marks on the wall some days before the sign was posted. At that time I checked the workshops, no-one had borrowed a level. The sign poster had supplied his own level, in all probability from his own workshop. The pencil strokes are darker at the left (here, use my lens) they were drawn from left to right by a right handed person. The height of the sign is an indication of his height. To indulge in the whim at all he must have some sense of humour. And finally to be aware of the Baker Street tradition he must have been here when the original Baker Street sign was in place.
Watson
These are excellent indicators, but it will require some further work to find him.
Holmes
On the contrary, Watson, no work at all, he will find us. The pencil marks are still in place because he could not remove them while the paste was still wet. He will return to complete the job.
As Holmes finishes speaking, the Publicity Agent rounds the corner, he is carrying an eraser and singing.
Publicity Agent
"Oh, Mrs McGrath", the lecturer said
"Would you like to make a graduate out of your son, Ted?
With a fancy gown, and a squared black hat,
Sure, Mrs McGrath, wouldn't you like that?"
Wi your too-ri-aa, folly diddle-aa
Too-ri, oo-ri, oo-ri-aa
Wi your too-ri-aa, folly diddle-aa
Too-ri, oo-ri, oo-ri-aa.
"He'll study low, he'll study high
He'll study Geol. on the bye 'n bye
He'll ...."
Oh, hello Holmes, hello Doctor.
Holmes
Good afternoon. I see you are an engineer.
Publicity Agent
Say, that's neat! How did you do it?
Holmes
By your dress you are not a business person or a lawyer. You have not used the word Linux or any acronyms in the last sixty words you have spoken, therefore you are not from IT, yet you are of this school, so it remains that you are an engineer. There are, of course, other details supporting this conclusion.
At this instant the glass door is flung open and the Capt'n, his vision obscured by the large cardboard box he is carrying, crashes into the three people looking at the sign. Cheeses, packets of biscuits, dips, jars of olives and dried sausages fly in all directions. Holmes overwhelmed by the mass of data goes into a frenzy of examining, measuring and note taking. Watson alternatively rubs at his sore shoulder and sore leg. The Publicty Agent starts loading the items back into the box surreptitiously checking for a broken packet that he can filch some biscuits from.
Capt'n
Come on, you lot, get your act in gear, we need this all of this for the ' Bar.
Publicity Agent
picks up the hint
Oh, you mean the
Campbell Bar, Friday at five, in Applied Science Two, via Baker Street.
Capt'n
Yeah, well done, but it doesn't mean you can score those biscuits.
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