Corporate Plan
The curtain rises on the publicity agent and the Campbell Bar Captain sitting at desks in a tutorial room. Scattered on the desks are magazines, company reports, real estate brochures, political campaign statements etc etc. On the white board in red are mutations of "transparently reflecting the mirrored image of our vision" - "reflecting transparently the mirrored vision of our image" and the like. The pubicity agent chews at a pen, the Captain stands ...
Capt'n
So much for the Campbell Bar Mission Statement, two whole days we've been at it and haven't got past "We hold these values to be central..."
Publicity Agent
It's not as easy as you first think, if we had more people, and more ideas.
Capt'n
Look it's Thursday, where's this week's promo for the Bar?
Publicity Agent
I'll do it, I'll do it. Don't sweat. I've been a bit busy, exams and stuff.
Capt'n
Bull! I see you've had plenty of time to put in your two pennies worth in on the Faculty Plan.
Publicity Agent
Can't help it. The emails sit in my 'in' mail-box and they reach out to me like chocolate biscuits in a jar, sooner or later my resistance fails.
Capt'n
I noticed it failed with the olives at the Bar last Friday.
Publicity Agent
Hey, they're weren't bad for plain wrap. But this faculty name business is interesting, I never realized just how many places we are associated with ... Bundoora, Albury/Wodonga, Shepparton and Mildura, Malaysia, Singapore, Indonesia and I don't know where else
Capt'n
We should run courses in geography.
Publicity Agent
Say, that's an idea! It'd go nicely with geology. We could give the E the flick from MTE and throw in G and G.
Capt'n
Yeah, yeah, I can see it coming, joker. How do you spell "hungry horse in four letters"?
Publicity Agent, Capt'n (chanting together, beating time on the table)
M T G G!
Publicity Agent
No seriously, I've given the Faculty name some thought. You know "Kim"?
Capt'n (looking at the cover of a movie magazine)
Novak?
Publicity Agent
No! Rudyard Kipling's Kim, dill.
Capt'n
Oh, did Kipling have a mistress called Kim?
Publicity Agent
Of course not! He was English. No I mean Kim from his book, set in India. Kim was very street wise, called by his lama ...
Capt'n
Llamas come from South America, not India, I read it in a Tintin comic.
(Herge, Prisoners of the Sun, Magnet Press, ISBN 0 416 77410 ed.)
Publicity Agent (ignoring interruption)
... called by his lama "Friend of All the World".
Capt'n
Well?
Publicity Agent (with a "thought you'd never ask" look)
Well, we could call ourselves - "Faculty of All the World".
Capt'n (sarcastically)
Oh, very clever.
Publicity Agent
FAW for short.
Capt'n
You're FAWed.
Publicity Agent
FAWed?
Capt'n
Yes, FAW - Full of Absolute Waffle!
(waffle to your heart's content - Campbell Bar, Applied Science II basement 5:00 Friday.)
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