The Oxford Companion.
The tea-room of Applied Science II - Thursday - the clock shows 2:10 pm - the Publicity Agent (on his own) is seated with his feet up on one of the low tables -completely relaxed drinking coffee and reading a book - the Capt'n enters to check stock at the Bar.
Capt'n
What's this then, late lunch or early afternoon tea?
Publicity Agent (hesitant and defensive)
Ah, lunch. My lecture finished at one (sees that it after two o'clock, and corrects himself) ... at two. Hardly had a break all day.
Capt'n
Yeah, it must be tough. What's the book? Looks a bit classier than that thing you had last week. What was it, "Great American Blonde Sex Mysteries"?
Publicity Agent
Yeah, I gave that away. It all got a bit technical for me.
Capt'n
So what's this one?
Publicity Agent
The Oxford Companion to Australian Folklore. My daughter gave it to me. See. (proudly shows hand written note and reads)
"Dear Dad,
This book, belonging to the rather presumptuous Oxford tradition, is possibly not as informed or as accurate as an intelligent mind well versed in the classics of our Nation may wish." She means my mind, of course.
Capt'n
Of course.
Publicity Agent (continues)
"lacking that certain Australian tone that is particularly apparent in its residents' expressions."
Capt'n
Does she always speak like that?
Publicity Agent
Of course not! She lives in Maidstone. She speaks academically only to me.
Capt'n (a little cautious)
She wouldn't be taking the micky ....
Publicity Agent
Don't be silly, where would she have learnt that? Now listen.
"I am convinced, however, that it is useful as a 'front' ie an item with which to impress your neighbours and raise you highly in the esteem of your less well versed colleagues."
See, she understands my position in University affairs.
Capt'n (not sure)
I still wonder if she might be having a lend of y ... (pauses, decides delicately not to pursue the point, continues brightly in a "well, let's move on tone") What's the book like?
Publicity Agent
Good. You know the technique, check it out for something you know about, gives you an idea of its accuracy. So I looked up Ellis.
Capt'n
Ellis?
Publicity Agent
Ellis! Peter Ellis. You know Peter. Hell! you've sold him enough drinks.
Capt'n (is having difficulty getting head around it)
Peter, in an Oxford Companion?
Publicity Agent (matter of fact)
Yeah, gets a full column, that was in '95, should get more now. Here, (reads)
"Ellis, Peter, born in Bendigo. Victoria. ... trained in chemistry and works at La Trobe University College of Northern Victoria. ... strong interest in Australian native plants ... member of Bendigo Field Naturalists' Club ... gold medallion in 'new vogue' dancing ... plays a variety of instruments, principally button accordion, Anglo concertina, mouth organ and tin whistle ... groups such as the Nariel Creek musicians, the Gay Charmers from Kerang, Harry McQueen's Old Time Band and the Wedderburn Old Timers ...awarded life membership of the VFMC ...co-authored with Shirley Andrews 'Two Hundred Dancing Years'...
(full extract - ed.)
Lyn (enters unnoticed by the two readers, speaks in "Ah, now I've found you voice!")
Ah, now I've found you!
(great stage directions! ed.)
(Publicity Agent and Capt'n spin round with guilty looks, like previous generation schoolkids caught with Playboy, relax when they see Lyn)
Lyn
When you two do your promo, could you mention Peter Ellis? He finishes here on Tuesday. He doesn't want a fuss, but a few people might like to share a drink with him.
Capt'n and Publicity Agent (doing impromptu Barn Dance/Pride of Erin/shambles involving Lyn, chant)
Campbell Bar Bar Bar
Applied Science Two Two Two
Friday at Five Five Five
See Peter Off Off Off.
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