Twenty Seconds to Midnight.

Just inside the ground floor entrance at the North end of Applied Science 2. The Publicity Agent is making adjustments to a machine. The machine looks like the result of gene bonding between an American Air Force rocket sledge and a medieval fortress sieging weapon. Recognisable components are a plastic chair, dozens of highly stretched bicycle tubes, a liquid crystal display (possibly from a photocopier) and a 4WD winch (possibly from a Nissan Patrol). Strange articulated arms fabricated from adjustable desklamps wave about aimlessly. The Capt'n arrives from the direction of the Publicity Agent's office.

Capt'n
Ah, there you ... What on earth!?

Publicity Agent proudly
It's pretty good isn't it?

Capt'n cautiously as he avoids an indecent approach by one of the arms
Sure it's great, but what is it?

Publicity Agent
Well you know when you are carding out you have only twenty seconds after you swipe your card to open the door get yourself and whatever else you are carrying through the door and allow the door to shut. Otherwise you're in big trouble, Authority will fine you.

Capt'n
Yes, it has happened.

Publicity Agent
Well it's not so easy if you're carrying a lot of stuff. I saw the priest one night, (see "religion" - ed) he had his arms full of picks, maps, surveying equipment and the devil knows what else. He nearly lost the lot. You should have heard the language, I would never have expected it from a man of the cloth.

Capt'n
So?

Publicity Agent
My Zuper Zwiper solves the problem. You sit in this seat, load your stuff around here and press the go button. This arm swipes your card, this one opens the... no look, it's easier to demonstrate than explain.

Capt'n
You're not going to sit in that thing!?

Publicity Agent
No, not for a test. I've got this.
Publicity Agent dives into the paper recycle bin and produces the dummy used in first aid training

Capt'n
How'd you get that?

Publicity Agent
Easy. I went to a first aid course and pretended it was someone who had fallen asleep and needed to be helped out. Well here goes!
the Publicity Agent reaches across and presses the GO button, an articulated arm attempts to swipe the card and misses

Publicity Agent
It doesn't matter the door will open anyway at this time of day.
the display reads, swipe successful, opening door - a more solid arm reaches out and grabs the door handle and pulls

Capt'n
Shouldn't it be pushing?

Publicity Agent with staged lack of concern
It's okay, it will think the door has not been released and abort the process.
the display reads, "stiff door - using boost - the handle snaps off the door - the arm moves the handle in a graceful arc and drops it - the display reads, door is open

Publicity Agent shouts
PANIC!
the Publicity Agent throws himself on the floor - the Capt'n follows - there is a small click and large twang - the dummy, chair and miscellaneous items are catapulted through the closed glass door

Publicity Agent faintly
It will go into retrieval mode now, it has fifteen seconds to get the chair back.
the winch starts winding in the cable attached to the chair - the chair has caught in the bicycle stand along the wall of Applied Science One - the stand breaks free and is dragged towards the machine but won't fit through the smashed door - the display reads, 8, 7, 6, 5, time short - using boost, 3, 2 - smoke is pouring from the winch - the door frame fractures and the mangled fusion of chair, bicycle rack and door is dragged back to the machine - the display reads, 1, 0, Mission Successful! - in the meanwhile the smoke has set off the fire alarm - heavy footsteps echo in the corridor

Publicity Agent
Hell! It's Authority!
the Publicity Agent throws himself into the recycle bin and closes the lid - the Capt'n calmly steps outside through the once-was-a-door - picks up a scrap of paper, rolls it into a cigarette shape and pretends to smoke it

Authority
Hello, hello, hello. Well what's happening here then?

Capt'n looks up, surprised, as if seeing the devastation for the first time
I've no idea, Authority, I just stepped out for a smoke. I didn't notice anything unusual.

Authority
You're loitering.

Capt'n
No, not at all, I'm waiting to see the Publicity Agent.

Authority
I'd like to hear what he has to say for himself.

Capt'n
Can't be sure, but I think I can guess.
behind Authority's back the lid of the recycle bin is cautiously raised, a hand holds up a notice, it reads
Campbell Bar, via Baker St, Applied Science 2, 5:00 Friday


About this site . . . . Site Contents