The Sound of One Hand Clapping

The Capt'n is taking a walk across the oval, he comes across Publicity Agent dressed in a (once) white bed-sheet and seated in a wine barrel on its side with one end knocked out.

Capt'n
What the hell are you doing?

Publicity Agent
I'm philosophising. All good philosophers use barrels.
(presumably an allusion to Diogenes, a Greek philosopher who lived in a barrel for some years - however the idea did not take on - ed.)

Capt'n
What about, may I ask?

Publicity Agent
Doors slamming and the sound of one hand clapping.

Capt'n (now convinced he's dealing with a disarranged mind adopts a softly-softly approach)
Would you like to tell me from the beginning what lead you to this?

Publicity Agent
You think I'm mad don't you?

Capt'n (silence)

Publicity Agent
Well it started when I heard that the vote for the name 'Business and Technology' was 18 votes against just 2 votes for 'Management, Technology and Engineering'. And I think it was the "enigmatic and interesting" component that swung the vote.
(here the Publicity Agent is referring to the choice of a new school name for MTE, see background ed.)

Capt'n (detached and humouring an apparent nut case)
Very interesting.

Publicity Agent
When I thought about "Business and Technology" in terms of "enigmatic and interesting" I was so absorbed I couldn't sleep at all that night and half the next day.

Capt'n (the detached approach is failing)
Half the next day!?

Publicity Agent
Yes I didn't get to sleep until halfway through my Electronics lecture.

Capt'n (now totally absorbed)
You fell asleep giving a lecture!?

Publicity Agent
It wasn't that difficult, the students were already asleep. The funny thing was when I woke up the room was full of all sorts of people sitting cross-legged on the desks with their finger tips pressed together chanting "Omm, Omm, Omm,". They had wandered in thinking it was a meditation class. The room was resonating beautifully, it was actually an acoustic tile falling from the ceiling that woke me.

Capt'n (losing touch)
But the barrel ...

Publicity Agent
Well I got to thinking why "Business and Technology" was enigmatic and I now I see. I used to think that the idea of one hand clapping was enigmatic but really on reflection it is only crudely so. I mean it is enigmatic in such an unenigmatic way. To be truly enigmatic a phrase needs to appear ordinary but with an almost transparent undertone of enigmaticity. Do you follow?

Capt'n (now altogether lost)
Er?

Publicity Agent
That's why the phrase "the sound of a screen-door slamming" is so much more enigmatic than "the sound of one hand clapping" simply because it is apparently so much less so. For the same reason "Business and Technology" is deeply enigmatic. Do you see?
("Late last night I heard the screen door slam" is a line from the Joni Mitchell song "Big Yellow Taxi" - for a remarkable setting of this song see [August 2025: link to original Bendigo Film Group program is not available, promoting a 35mm film version of this current Youtube release ed.]

Capt'n (looks for safe ground)
MTE wasn't the only school to have a name change.

Publicity Agent
Yes the old HHS doesn't know whether it's Arthur or Martha. It's now the School of Health and Environment. So in short it's either SHE or HE. There must be philosophical potential in that. I'll work on it.
(turns back into barrel)

Capt'n (now business like, raps on barrel with his knuckles)
Hey! Before you go back in there what about this week's promo?

Publicity Agent
(muttering and crawling further into barrel)
... barrel of laughs ... philosophise at the Bar ... ... enigmaticity by the glass ...

Capt'n
Hell! (quickly upends barrel, open end down trapping Publicity Agent inside - climbs on barrel and addresses imaginary crowd in style of Mark Anthony)
Friends, rural and community,
Lend me your ears,
Campbell Bar, Applied Science II Basement, 5:00 Friday!

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